listen ~

**  the times that u hurt me and put tears on my face , and even now , while i hate you , its pains me to say .. i know i'll be there at the end of the day . 

i dont wanna be without u , 

i dont wanna a BROKEN HEART

dont wanna take a breathe without u .

i dont wanna play that part .

i know that I LOVE YOU 

but , 

let me say I DON'T WANNA LOVE YOU IN NO KIND OF WAY

 i dont want a broken heart 

I DON'T WANNA PLAY THE BROKENHEARTED GIRL .

I'M NO BROKENHEARTED GIRL . **

seriously , kdg2 , aku rasa macam nak lari je bila ada masalah camni . tapi , aku dah besar . aku perlu selesaikan . aku taknak jadi pengecut . 

 aku taknak apa yang aku bina hancur . 

aku nak happy ending lam hidup aku . 

just want to share this one ~
> i can't get rid the world of sorrow , but , i can choose to live in joy <
# sorrow is with us not because we are bad at stopping it , but simply , because its part of being human . what matter is not whether good or bad things happen - both will , but your relationship with them . just think back over the last 24hrs , - what had you taken hard that you could have taken lightly ?

while in Mark 10:27 says ,
with man it is impossible , but not with God . For all things are possible with God 

in this life , we play it hard to get what we dream of , what we want . sometimes , we tend to hurt ourselves in way we can get it . we manipulating our very own heart , we fool ourselves , but , what we always forget that someone always here watching our every move in this world . that is the one who sit in the highest place , the one who sits on the right hand . 

yesterday ~

no more u and i starting today . that the last thing i think tonight . people say , i say ,
" you're the first i see when i wake up , the last before i sleep and the only i want to be with until the last breathe "

then i guess , nothing is gonna change and that just you .

resonate so well in life ~

here we are now
everything is about to change

we face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday
a chapter ending but the stories only just begun
a page turning for everyone
so i'm moving on
letting go
holding on to tomorrow
i've always got the memories while i'm finding out who i'm gonna be
we might be apart but i hope you always know
you'll be with me wherever i go
wherever i go
so exited i can barely even catch my breath
we have each other to lean on for the road ahead
this happy ending is the start of all our dreams
and i know your heart is with me
so i'm moving on
letting go 
holding on to tomorrow
i've always got the memories while i'm finding out who i'm gonna be
we might be apart but i hope you always know you'll be with me wherever i go
its time to show the world we've got something to say 
a song to sing out loud we'll never fade away
i know i'll miss you but we'll meet again someday
we'll never fade away
so i'm moving on
letting go 
holding on to tomorrow 
i've always got the memories while i'm finding out who i'm gonna be

we might be apart but i hope you always know you'll be with me 

wherever , wherever i go

*susah  nak describe perasaan kan ? tak tahu la nak tulis apa . aku copy paste lirik je . korang paham kan la sendiri . there's always something somewhere inside a song right ? yesterday , taknak cakap . bila aku gtau aku ok , aku tipu . aku tak ok . pa yang dibaca walaupun bukan di dengar , effect mungkin sikit kan ? tapi bukan aku . effect itu besar sekali . lagi besar kalau aku dengar .*

i always knew this day would come
we'd be standing one by one
with our future in our hands
so many dreams so many plans
always knew after all these years
there'd be laughter there'd be tears
but never thought thats i'd walk away
with so much joy but so much pain
and it's hard to say goodbye
but yesterday gone we gotta keep moving on
i'm so thankful for the moments so glad i got to know you
the times that we had i'll keep like a photograph
and hold you in my heart forever
i'll always remember you
another chapter in the book can't go back but you can look

and there we are on every page
memories i'll always save
up ahead on the open doors
who knows what were heading towards
i wish you love i wish you luck
for you the world just open up
but it's so hard to say goodbye
yesterday gone but we gotta keep moving on
i'm so thankful for the moments so glad i got to know you
the times we had i'll keep like a photograph
and hold you in my heart forever

i'll always remember you
everyday that we had all the good all the bad
i'll keep them here inside
all the time we shared every place everywhere
you touched my life
yeah one day we'll look back we'll smile and we'll laugh
but right now we just cry
cause it's so hard to say goodbye
yesterday gone but we gotta keep moving on
i'm so thankful for the moments so glad i got to know you
the times that we had i'll keep like a photograph
and hold you in my heart forever
i'll always remember you

** bila perkara camtu dah tjadi kan , aku menyesal sangat2 . really do . **

makin menjadi !

haissh .. aku ingat kan hal tu dah settle . lama la jgak nunggu "si dia" mintak maaf secara live . kat buletin utama ke , mana2 je la asalkan live . satu dunia lihat pun aku tak kisah . dah dia yang menyinggung orang laen . muka je cantik , tp , sanggup luahkan ayat2 gitu . pe laa . aku tak dapat result spm lagi pun aku dpt pikir apa yang betul dan apa yang salah . takkan la gara2 VALENTINE'S DAY korang sampai menyalahkan agama ? eee .. jangan la . kata 1MALAYSIA . still jgak ada masalah camni timbul . siap main defend lagi tu . dah tahu sendiri salah , susah ke nak mengaku ? nak meminta maaf ? dah lari kot si dia nie . aku taknak la ngutuk dia , sebab aku taknak dicop sama mcm dia . aku tak nak duduk sama taraf ngan dia . aku baik . benci la aku bila agama asyik dibawa lam hal2 yang remeh . mcm budak2 je kalau gitu . pelik sangat2 . tak mungkin la agama K sanggup kutuk agama I even though hati panas ngan statement camtu . haii , harap2 la dia nie sedar apa dia dah buat . 


and untuk korang , readers , fikir2 kan la apa yang baik demi agama . tak nak perkara camni jadi lagi . semua ni keterlaluan !

heart boleh break ke ?

aku tak tahu la pahal ngan otak ku mlm2 gini . makin lama aku layan fb , makin lain macam aku rasa . boring ? sudah semestinya . panas ? memang . tidak dinafikan . sakit hati ? sakit lagi kalau takda hati . HAHA . soalan bodoe pun pandai muncul kalau dah camni . tu la soalan aku . HEART boleh BREAK ke ? metafora benar la bunyi nye tu . HEART kan kenyal , solid+ liquid , ORIGINAL pulak tu . 
aku tak tahu la camna nak start . aku sendiri fall in love at the 7th sight . paham ke korang ? maksud aku , nie yang ke-7 kalinya aku sayang orang yang takda hubungan darah ngan aku . tapi , yang aku pasti , yang sorang nie aku benar2 sayang la . kalau nak cakap CINTA MATI , aku sendiri tak pasti . masih dalam percubaan . 


well , aku percaya**something like that** , kalau ada satu hal yang boleh berubah tanpa mengira masa , itu mungkin adalah satu RELATIONSHIP . possibly berlaku kerana dua insan yang didalam hubungan itu ataupun kerana keadaan sekeliling . married couple , newly-married couple pasti paham keadaan gini . tekanan yang aku maksudkan . bukan benda lain oke ? korang kerana alert orite ? hehe ! but yeah, for sure, there are these phases that every relationship will definitely go through.
every relationship , tak kira la berapa lama relationship korang bertahan ataupun seberapa dekat ianya bermula just by first glance , pasti melekat kat fikiran korang kan ? macam aku jgak . time dulu2 bertentang mata ngan kekasih hati . hehe . this is how it starts and apa yang datang itu hanya la permulaan . ikut je ye . korang hanya kan rasa susah kalau tak tahu cara nak handle , tackle situation . kalau aku , tak yah di-mention kat sini . aku suka timbulkan benda yang complicated even sekarang pun masih camtu jgak . tp , kadang2 la . aku hanya nak buat dia senyum kat sana , ketawa . saambung cta ..... ~ fasa ini orang cakap kita baru nak kenal hati masing2 , mesra2 , ramah dan hangat . kalau korang rasa camni , tahniah . korang berjaya ~ hehe ! connection dah ada , papa problems pun nampak senang kan nak settle . korang akan rasa kurang tension . haiii ~ bahagianya** next is , bila dah kenal ngan baik , korang yang mula2 bersembunyi disebalik topeng , maybe akan rasa selesa dgn menyatakan hal sebenar . maybe rahsia yang korang nak share selama ni kan . aku takda rahsia lagi . semua dah pecah . haha . 
nie ujian sebenar relationship la . aku tak tahu korang cakap benda mcm mana . both akan rasa selesa , taknak berjauhan walaupun sesaat , both jgak akan expect each other to be there , to understand , to comfort when troubles come . memang la kadang2 apa yang kita harap , kita tak dapat and nak menangis kan . korang menangis air mata batu ke air mata darah ke tak guna jgak tau tak ? ishhh . **aku dah try dah** . korang jangan risau . kawan2 kan ada . kawan2 pasti akan cuba nak cheer you up rite ? 


alahai , cobaan !! 
conclusion nya ialah , masalahnya bukan bergantung pada one side untuk buat yang terbaik lam relationship . it will be much better kalau both side stand together , side by side in this journey of love to do the best to make it work . don't give a fuck about the time , energy that have to lose . if this is what you want , you must work for it . so , be happy , cheers to all these changes that yet to happen , everything that comes and goes within the matters of time because in the end what matter is not where you reached , but it where life gonna take you . 

remember readers , 

LIFE NEVER MEANT TO BE A DESTINATION , IT ALWAYS A JOURNEY .

**cheers and  buenas noches a los lectores y tener un buen día por delante**

god bless ! 

yesterday once more ~

daddy suka lagu nih ..first time aku dengar , aku wondering .... apa yang best sgt tentang THE CARPENTERS ... bila aku dah dengar semua lagu lam CD tu , then , aku realized ... mcm ada connected ngan hidup aku n family aku especially lam lagu ni la ... in case korang nak tahu jgak , sambil layan lagu ni , korang baca la jgak lirik keyh ... then , tplg kat korang camna nak mnilai .... 
When I was young
I’d listen to the radio
Waitin’ for my favorite songs When they played I’d sing along
It made me smile.
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they’d gone
But they’re back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well.
Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they’re startin’ to sing’s
So fine.
When they get to the part
Where he’s breakin’ her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It’s yesterday once more.
Lookin’ back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed.
It was songs of love that
I would sing to then
And I’d memorize each word
Those old melodies
Still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away.
Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they’re startin’ to sing’s
So fine.
All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry.
Just like before
It’s yesterday once more.

**weddingphotostakenon120507fromMarrieageEnrichmentExperienceSeminar**~**stthomaschurchbintulu**

**godblessyourmarrieage** ~ **alwaysloving'bothofyou** 
**dinnerpohotstakenon160211athome****editedversionofthem**

150211 , aku belajar buat kek . tanda2 bosan ku laa . pikir nak buat sendiri , last2 minta ajar kakak jgak . hehe ! tp , akhirnya , menjadi kek aku . first time kek aku tak rosak . congratulations to me ~ yeayy ! nie hasilnya . 

korang rasa aku dapat pikat bakal mertua kah kalau gini ?? *ngegeh* haha ! 

babah , off now .. kalau ada masa , aku update lagi ~ 

korang jaga2 diri baik , jaga adat .. 

;)

bye ~

tak tahu hari ini org celebrate apa ~ xda lam list aku !

guess korang dah boleh figure out kan dari tajuk tu . memang la . senang je nak guess . budak kecik pun dapat . aku , jenis yang ter-amat complicated dlm bab2 percintaan . kadang2 tu kan , bila dah sayang seseorang , kita akan sayang sangat2 mcm hari esok takda lagi rite ? aku tak . seriously , memang aku tak gitu even though ku sayang , aku cinta , aku rindu sampai nak mampus ! aku , di sini nak menyatakan yang aku BENCI VALENTINE !! lantak la korang nak judge aku camna . dah aku memang tak suka walaupun mempunyai kekasih . VALENTINE IS JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY FOR ME . bak kata dia semlm , EVERYDAY IS VALENTINE . aku tak celebrate valentine ngan kekasih . aku tak minat . aku lebih minat celebrate ngan kengkawan . kawan teman rapat kita , mereka lebih paham kita . mereka keluarga kedua . 


lets say korang celebrate valentine hari ini , wahhh ! happy dapat bunga , dpt coklat , dapat ciuman yang hentah kat mana melekat . *sukati la janji korang puas dapat lepas nafsu*...  cam biasa , korang g date , jalan2 , lepak2 kat taman yang tak berapa nak harum bunga . tup2 , after korang berpisah , ye lah , nak balik la katakan ... korang dapat yg sebaliknya . then , break . habis la valentine day korang . habis semua benda korang tikam . pecah bederai mcm hati korang . *aku bukan tulis je nih , kalau ada antara korang pernah cam ni , at least , lam relationship yg seterusnya , korang tahu camna nak handle kan ?* mesti ada flashback punya . korang akan tanya hati . persoalan ~ .. tak nak tulis nih . hati korang bukan sama mcm hati aku walaupun hati kita original . 
-example nih sbnrnya based on my own experience . banyak kali dah break after valentine , then , aku taknak celebrate hari ini lg . dalam kalender , aku hilangkan nombor 14 pada bulan februari . aku benci tarikh tu . - FULLSTOP .


hari ini plak , supposed kami g jalan2 , cam biasa celebrate kat luar . hari ni speacial buat kawan yg lagi sorang . dia cakap nak introduced boyfie dia . then , tak jadi . mungkin mereka date . nevermind la . 


semalam , org yg ku sayang ... tak tahu la nak tulis apa . dia harap yg dia ada kat sini . dekat dgn aku . akhirnya , aku buat pengakuan . tak tahu la camna dia terima pengakuan aku tu . dia jenis yg romantik . tahun nie , dia tpaksa deal ngan ke-enggan-an aku celebrate valentine . nak minta maaf pun aku tak tahu . serba salah yg lebih . pagi nie plak , haiii ! aku ngan tangan , hati , otak ku yang celupar , tanya dia soalan yang ter-amat la sial . kenapa la aku tanya dia soalan camtu ekk ? bukan la aku tak percaya kat dia , aku percaya sgt2 . aku tahu dia tak mungkin akan buat begitu . don't know la camna nak face the night later . *aku bodoh ye* 

off for now readers . HAPPY VALENTINE DAY for everyone . cheers *

jerk !

now , ohhhmyy .. lama sudah tidak on full chatbox kat FB . busy la katakan .. busy main game . bessttt .. sampai tak ingat dunia . tp , sulu tetap ingat la . tak boleh tak ingat . bergegar rumah klo tak dihiraukan . hehe .. 

pagi2 hari minggu , spt biasa , kita kan kristian . so , kena pergi church . repent , ask for what is right which come from sincere heart and a effort comes within . no worry , failed once , doesn't mean i'm gonna failed twice or over again till i give up . no , thats not exactly who i am . bless me Lord . :)

berbalik kpd story SI JERK nih .. 

dah nama bosan kan , main game pun lama sangat nak tunggu loading . sampai panas buntut . aku on la chatbox . on full list ya , bukan setengah . HAHA . tiba2 , pada suatu ketika , ter-POP UP plak satu peti dari manusia gatal . lama dah dia nie tak kacau aku . bukan la nak membesarkan pkara kecik . dah aku on tu bukan aku minta sapa2 chat ngan aku pun . haiisshh ! macam2 la aku dia nih kat wallpost , dgn harapan dia sedar la kan . aku tak nak block/remove sapa2 . 

wallpost pertama ** : stay away from me , stay away from trying to chatting with me , stay away from calling me "HONEY" , stay away from flirts with me . stay away from everything that has connections with me . FYI , i'm taken and not interested in any of lustful things . get it ?!

wallpost kedua tak yah la aku nak copy paste kat sini . aku dah delete . kalau korang curious sgt , korang translate je ayat2 cinta tu ek ? mmmmaaalllaaaassss ku ehh . ingatkan nak kasi budak nih paham , pastu aku nak dia remove or block aku ke . tak jgak beliau berbuat demikian . bertuah sungguh engkau ye BUDAK ?! 

wallpost ketiga dan terakhir utk si dia yg belum connect**: there's something i want to tell . come , have a good look on your screen . STOP FLIRTING WITH ME YOU JERK ! 

sungguh la SENGAL !

macam2 aku redah lam FB tu lately . 

malas la aku nak cerita kat sini . 

korang pun tak nak tahu jgak kan ?

tp , aku nak share wallpost aku je keyh ? 

yang lain korang figure out sendiri . 

friday , 1.1pm**i may be look stupid and young to some of you .. but , i think twice before taking any decisions and actions . my advices may be look like want to destroy you , but , think again . all my advices are far more rational than your actions . i'm here not to criticizes you . 

friday , 2.01pm**i'm a person with few words . but , once you try to or think to be harsh on me , you will get the same from me due to your own actions . obviously , if you think i'm trying to blackmail you , YOU ARE SO WRONG ! 

ayat cinta satu ni aku tujukan kat cikaro la . *wahh , hebat bahasa* . memang la aku tak fhm mother tounge diaorang , tapi , aku fikir la jgak dari segi rasional apa benda diaorang cakap . mungkin la jgak aku salah sebab banyak komen . takpe la . aku tolong bagi advice pun based on my own situation jgak . i've been on her shoes once . i'd felt the same way she felt . terpulang la kat dia nak judged or take my advice as whatever she want . aku dah jemu nak nasihat org camtu lagi . ye la , korang rasa diri PURRRFECT kan . papn , aku nak happy ngan hidup aku . dah la . sampai di sini shj surat utk korang semua . 

daaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................~

craziest moment

Hola a los lectores! ¿Cómo es tu día? excepcional? grandes? díacansado? día más ocupado alguna vez? HAHA! no te preocupes ...Estoy teniendo ese tipo de día también ... hoy! que era tandivertido! 

crazy bonar .. lama sdh tidak speaking spanish ... yg tak tahu , guna kan la google translate ..    HAHA .. 

how to start my story ek ? nothing much to say if me exclude the past 2 or 3 days punya story .. broken bahasa .. haishh ! apa ku kisah ~ daaaa ... lets put it all together .. shall we ?
---> 5th feb / BBQ , GOSSIPING , EATING , LOL , TALKING CRAP , MOVIE ... 
nie plan senget sebelah .. bukan nak drop out sapa2 dlm plan nie ... dah sorang xdpt dtg .. urgent punya hal dia cakap .. the one who couldn't make it , is the one who eagerly try to makes this plan works .. so sorry for u J**** .. nevermind , we have plan another date for us ... waiting for M to come home laa .. aigo ! bnyk lama itu budak sudah dekat Sri Aman ...

*p/s: no need to share photo .. haha ! *

another story happened was one of our friend told us that she saw someone that we know , obviously from the same school , check-in to one of the inn . somewhere dekat pasar . *tmpt rahsia . hanya kami shj yg tahu .. hoho* . that time , around 10a.m. too early for that kind of people . projek la tu ... tusah2 ! kanjoi amai ! 

on the next day , as usual .. church . do nothing after that except for sister . no need to story2 on her .. lets focus on my day . *bad me .. haha* . online . online , online , online is basically what i do everyday since finishing my high school . not much to say what i do when i'm online . games is kinda my priority , including doing my routine . 

:)

could be a bad day for me because that day totally BORING . in car , after dropped her to her friend's house , i started to taking pictures . snap here , snap there . see it with my own eyes , can't believe its ME . totally different from last year . *kena pam . too many of everything inside . HAHA !* .. sent to my love . his comments , quite funny . to me la . impressive that time . of course the first comment is about my cheeks . 

*i will never take photos using hphone again ! ... haha* ... i know i'm cute .. *perasan* .. i know i'm pretty than you .. *perasan lebih* ... I'M FAT . thats the fact . nice ~ me loikee .. haha !

seriously , being fat , well .. not too fat .. is what i want . hehe ..

me ... taken with camera .. so , no fatty cheek here . haha !


monday ? how's my monday ?

doing well here . no stress just alone . sounds too serious . he's got something to do . alone again , what else to do . turn on the pc ! started to edited what can be edit . online around 8a.m yesterday . having , enjoying my hot breakfast with H**** .. gossiping about someone . this one is the true and verified story . one of her classmates , now , living a happy life with husband . congratulations for your pregnancy ! ^^ ... hope that man will take a very good care of her . at night , so nice ... until , one incident that make me so down ... but , then , he cheer me up again .. **secara tidak langsung* meaning he did not know . only i know , but now, he will know if he read this . 

this wall post comes from Lo****** ... she said that , someone opposite their house , is a total slut . i don't know about this kid . i only know about the other kid . coincidentally a sister to this girl . again , acting like a slut , what else ? do that kind of S thing in the middle of the night . opss , my bad ! not midnight , its 4.30am . close this story . not bring any benefit at all . she's not a virgin , not our problem . 

back to my day ....

tuesday ... today ... morning still like yesterday .. alone , but today i am so damn busy ! kemas bilik doe ! tp, HAHA ... belum habis lagi .. tak larat . online kejap , nak update blog ... after that , sambung lagi .. regardless the time i will finish cleaning up my room . dusty , sandy , cracking lastly , nadai tikai g wai lam bilik ! nda diguna ag ... then , tgendala sekejap . jalan2 dulu . ambik angin . 

today .. on the way back .. 

just want to make comparison with the photos i took on Sunday .. 

still the same .. 

haha !

my body over my head .

meaning ??

kepala ku kecik dari badan laa ... not in reality .. just dari gambar ... haha ! 

**non-edited version of me ...**

well , off for now readers ! 

sedih tidak menjadi agaknyer ~

naaa .. hambik kau ... ! sedih nie tau ... xda mok nyalahkan sapa2 yea ... plan tidak jadi ... kita tangguh dulu .. tunggu Helen yea ... tidak best klo kurang sorang ... senget doe ! nih , aku kena RE-ORGANISE semula plan hari ini .. apa aku nak buat ek ? bilik ku tunggang langgang .. sikda jwak hasrat mok menSTABILkan bilik ...

HAHA !

agenda rasmi dan penting dan wajib .. teman si dia laa ... kesian .. buring tueee ! tidak kja ... boleh sambung tdo lagi nih .. nih yang best nyerr ... haha ! nak cta lagi nih ... aku sudah membisu utk yang ketiga hari nya ... taknak cakap ! takut salahhh .. al-maklumlaa ..kita kan BONGSU ... kena tegur nanti klo salah ... tusah itu macam .. nemu kitak ? HAHA .. 

aku dah tarit 8henggit dari dompet apai ku ... tambah 10henggit duit ku .. next punya week , kita reload keyh ? ... tak baik minta kat laki ... bedau sah kaban ! haha ! 

oh ! no

bahh ... how laa ? helen titak dapat latang ooo ... aigo !

titak best lorhh ini macam ... 

itu opening sja maaa ... ini cerita betul ... ngantuk doe ! awal sgt bgn ... excited nak jumpa kawan2 ... 

yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah !

semalam oo .. hampir gado oo sama dia ... nasib baik wa kawal wa punya hati .. hampir sja dilepaskan ... nasib baik laaa kann .. haha !
nanti update lagi yea ? mok out dulu ... pergi rumah MISSY LORETTA ... 
yarhhhh !!!! kita semakkan rumah diaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!! 

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

*Religions is not the ills of humanity

i'd found this interesting topics when i searched for my next post in blog ... its about religion .. as the title speaks for the texts ... 
just want to shared with the readers and i have my own opinions when reading this ... 


read throughly ... 
Religion, cannot and is not the ills of humanity. As to, what is? the corrupt use of religions whose basis is love. If one is to love another, one is to love a God or Gods, then where does the actions that bring war, strife, resentment, chaos and all other ills, fit into the discourse of religion or spirituality.

Liberal societies tend to stretch away from religions, fearing religious or spiritual  influence will destroy the state, but despotism in religion is just if not less dangerous than despotism within liberal societies. Where does the despot in liberal society appear. it appears in fear. the fear of the state, the fear of people, the fear of religion. What is to fear is not real. What is active in the world is us. Those of us who are living those of us who have lived and those of us who are about to live. It is our actions where what is seen as good or bad originate.

In Life there is only and just the things we do. 

future ^^

ohhyeaahhh !! received letter from SEGi College . yesssss !! read , read , read and keep on reading . MPharm of Pharmacy .. Foundation first . woowww ! fantabulous news for me . pharmacy is one of my interest . more to law is what i want because i want to be the next leader in law ! *building castle in the air is not useless , but , it worth it !* . the next thing , when i filled out the application form , suddenly , i think . what if i send an email to them and list out my other course of interest and see how they respond ? *finally , i did it !* .. now , the only thing left is , waiting for my SPM result on March . *can't wait !* .. then , call to MSU and inform them about my result . ohhh . hehe ! btw , beside law , i'm also love MLT . i chose the course that will make me satisfy and not regret in my own choices of career one day ~ .. 


here i am , sitting in front of pc , typing , and thinking the next word to say . know what ? i'm positively and absolutely sure about my choices . no regret , only satisfaction inside of me now . greattt ! can't wait to tell my dad !! ohhmyy ~ really2 happy now . 


another news , i'd got my phone back .. yess ! big YESSS !! ^^ .. 
oh well readers , i'll stop here first . i'll tell more if there any news . don't worry ! 

Gospel : JOHN 2:1 - 11

very interesting extract from Bible that every couple should focus on ... the Reverend also focus this extract to young men and women ... in fact , its focus on every single person that know the meaning of MARRIAGE .. 

here it is --->> On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee . Jesus' mother was there , and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding . When the wine was gone , Jesus' mother said to him , " They have no more wine . " Dear woman , why do you involve me ?" Jesus replied . " My time has not yet come ." His mother said to the servants , "Do whatever he tells you ." Nearby stood six stone water jars , the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing , each holding from twenty to thirty gallons . Jesus said to the servants , " Fill the jars with waters ," so they filled them to the brim . Then he hold them , "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet ." They did so , and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine . He did not realize where it had come from , though the servants who had drawn the water knew . Then he called the bridegroom aside and said , "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink ; but you have saved the best till now ." This , the first of his miraculous signs , Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee . He thus revealed his glory , and his disciples put their faith in him . 

now , as for the conclusion , Reverend listed out four of them ...

1. invite Him to your marriage life 
2. bring your needs to Him
3. gives out what He had and
4. give out what you need ... 

i'm not sure about the last two things ... i mean , whether i heard the wrong or right thing as i was seated at the back , just a few steps away from the door .. its quite noisy and i'm not ashamed to admit that i'm kinda sleepy at that particular time ... 

the Reverend also said that marriage is an eye-opener ... for me , from my point of view , it absolutely open the new world ... 

date to remember ---> after midnight ... 280111

well , frankly , i don't know how to start the day ... half cautious , i got myself into troubles last night ... not to mention the wrong recipient of the goodnight msg , thats just a tiny things ... hilarious ... then , out of blue .. i was so damn upset , angry with him ... if my reason was because he controlling my bedtime , thats was totally lame ... 
slipped out , i mentioned her name ... he , who supposed to be sleeping at that time , wake up and asked me why her name is brought up to public ... Facebook .. of course it public .. everyone see it , the one who search for her is the one who eager to know right ? just like i was totally possessed , hypnotized by something ... BAD ENERGY ...  then , from the matter of that lady , it become deeper ... it went off the track ... out of topic ... when he asked why her , why her ... i blocked myself to answer him because i don't have the answer ... 
well , obviously , all the anger , frustrated about me all this time , he let it out last night ... can't say i'm shocked because i'm not ... regret is the exact word ... i was mad at myself ... fully awake , i made a decision ... i want to leave this world ... and yes of course ... who want his lady to leave right ? he strictly said he "banned" me from doing stupid things ... 
this morning , i clear it out .. partially .. i don't know what to think .. i'm lost .. gone with myself ... i'm not me ... not the one who always make jokes in the morning ... i smiled all day , i laughed ... inside , only me knows the pain ... then , i talked to myself .. i should listen this time ... listen to what he say no matter what ... that the best ... he want perfection in this relationship ... and i , have to be open ... more open this time ... i don't want to feel the pain either do he ...   
maybe the journey to find myself , the road i'd chose not right this time ... i need to find other way ... a way that did not hurt him , cause trouble , where i can be happy ... he hurt a lot .. its all my fault ... 
from now on , i can't promise anything ... can't bear it if i break my own promise ... if this happen for reasons , i take it ... stop being hypocrite , ego , selfish , bad-manner , negative , shallow mind ... i have to stop all that ... i want to shift it to the good side .. i have stand on the bad side for to long now ...  


in my head right now , i don't know .. its all mess up ... can't untangled it one by one ... daangg ! its so hard ... how i wish i can scream out loud right now ... maybe i just need some good day rest , good long night to sleep ... day by day , i sleep more less .. weird .. why ? wake up so damn fresh in the morning with only sometimes 2 or 3 hours of sleeping ... what a life ! 

awkward ! HAHA ^^

ceritanya begini ... kononnya , nak send gudnite msg kat si dia ... aduhh ! tertekan nombor 32665 doe ! HAHA ... malu2 ... dah la 5 minit g msg ya melekat kat wall ~ hoho ! bagi nok paham ayat2 jiwang ya tek , nang sah laa ada komen2 .. macam dua orang kakak ya tek .. malu2 !! sepantas kilat online ... aduhh .. siktauk la brapa ramai org dok baca msj ya .. malu sik terkata g tok ... dah la ayat last ya nang power .. apuu !! 

mati malu tok lak ... ishh ! 

pa la pandangan korang oo ? dah la aku asyik post status yg lain , tiba2 terkeluar plak rahsia percintaan ... malu abis tok doe ! adoe2 .. dak ney la mok menghadapi hari2 besok dan kemudian .. ? 

pikir balit , mati tetak ada juak tok lak ... gney la ku mok tutup cerita malu tok oo ? sibaiii ehhh ... !!

ukan sibai rah kejahatan , sibai rah keganjalan ... da kah dak ya ? hehe ! lantak la lipan ... sikda kesah g .. lari jak la dari fb seminggu , sebulan , dua bulan ... haha ! 

MCB bonar ... !

tok la aku malas ... semua la serba tak kena ... apa kah ? dah nya yg tiba2 tanya ttg PERIOD ... ney la aku suka ... ya isu sensitif kinek bah ... kakya , aku reply sepatah pun , mala jak kena tegur .. apuu ! sikda seput waii ... ! ngekk lalu ... bukan la mok ngutuk laki diri mpun kat ctok , malas doe .. malas .. sengal sangat2 .. naik gila olah nya ... last2 , baruk ku sedar aku perlu jimat kredit tpon ... ya la , nama dah pengganggur terhormat ... neyda elaun g everymonth ... ada pun , ikut angin org berik ... sabar jak la .. 


punya la jahat hati , panas g ... apa aku sent tadik pun aku sik ingat g ... aku marahnya kali ... sindir pun ada rasanya ... apa kah main rasa2 ? nang betul la ya .. memang marah , memang sindir ... gudnite msg pun aku buat bodoe jak .. malas ku mok lalek g aihh ... tgh2 mlm moha ... subuh jak la tdo .. biar sakit terus .. masok hospital pun bagus kali .. HAHA ... paloi2 !!


pa g ku mok share tok ? panas2 neyda pikir apa2 g ... esok edit jak la mun ada apa mok ditambah , ditolak , didarab , dibahagi ... papa jak la ... 

 O U T  ! !

first story for 2011

first of all , hello peeps ! ^^ ... brand new January will come to an end soon ... here's come Chinese New Year .. 

haisshh ~ lama dah x update blog ehh ... maklum laa .. xda story nak share ... kontang bah otak ku .. HAHA ... 

bosan asyik lepak dlm rumah ... esehh .. kununnya laa ... online jajak la kerja aku dok rumah ... makan , tidur .. lama2 gumuks ... body still maintain oOoOOooO ....................... yesss ! lama dah perah , bilas otak , x jgak jumpa jalan nak pujuk org .. nak drive bah nihh !! duuuhhhaaaa ~ .... 

new me ? no .. still the same person ... only trying to stay away from probs and all negative things .... 

January ? face a lot of difficulties especially in my relationship ... like what have been told , my probs + happy relationship = small fight +  still loving each other .... only when there's a level when i'm very serious to walk out from everyones' life ..... stupid ? yes i am ... HAHA !

stressful time , wonder how to live ... i treat ever single day as the last day on earth ... rumors here and everywhere ... DOOM'S DAY ... whatever or whenever it is , only BIBLE can tell the story ... i read THE REVOLUTION once ... haven't finish it yet ... hey ! no worry !! read it , then , u will find calmness in your heart .. believe me .. it works !